Most people think confidence is about getting ready for this big moment.
- Choose your words wisely: Don’t say think like ‘I’m not sure this is a good idea’ or ‘this might be dumb’ You are not obligated to narrate every thought you have about what your about to say. It is ok to feel unsure and you can still speak confidently. People don’t listen to people who are unsure of themselves
- Body first, mind second: You can control how you act despite your thoughts. They can’t compare how you feel on the inside to what they see on the outside. Don’t react to your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself ‘how do I want to show up physically in the moment’ and then put your body there first.
- The power of silence: don’t be uncomfortable with the silence. Let the things that you say matter. Don’t fill in with filler words. Don’t dilute the things that come off your mouth by saying too much which then dilutes all the good things you have to say. Silence is not a bad thing and once your realise the power of allowing silence in conversations and relationships, you will not be able to unsee it. It allows more autonomy for the person, it creates more trust and confidence with you and the impact that you say is much more impactful because people trust whatever comes out of your mouth is good.
4. Don’t fold under pressure: when you don’t advocate for yourself, it is very much bordering insecurity. You are telling people that your perspective does not matter and that your not secure enough to advocate for yourself in this world. If your not going to defend yourself, who the fuck is?
5. Own your opening: your first initial impression is everything. Psychologists call this the priming effect. People don’t update their first impression easily.
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